November 2010, Newsletter
November 2010
Web Site: www.ihsteps.com
Mission Statement: Our goal for this ministry is that it encourage and bless those who are struggling through life and that it will lead them to call on Jesus’ name and find victory in every situation.
“Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.” (Psalm 114:4, NIV)
Realize by Ann Weens
If I could, I’d write for you a rainbow
And splash if with all the colors of God And hang it in the window of your being So that each new God’s morning your eyes Would open first—to hope and promise. If I could, I’d wipe away your tears and hold you close forever in Shalom. But God never promised I could write a rainbow, never promised I could suffer for you, only promised I could love you. That I do! In This Letter: • “A Word from Iris: Dealing with Difficult People” • Ministry Update • “Faith Stretching” by Tammy Maseberg • “His Will is the Right Road for You” by Cathy Hicks • “Trying to Connect” by Beverlee Buller Keck (featured guest writer) • Scriptures of Blessings “A Word from Iris: Dealing with Difficult People” Everyone has dealt with difficult people at one time or another—who, no matter what you do, they are right and you are wrong. We can never live up to what they demand of us, whether it be physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Manipulation can become a well-used tool as they strive to get what they want. I’m talking about when we’ve tried to help someone or to make the relationship with that person better, and they still don’t come around or respond to the truth. You may have tried everything you can think of, and they still want to live in disharmony and, perhaps, play the role of the victim. Whatever the situation, God expects us to pray for and bless them. “To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person.” (Luke 6:27-28, MSG) We are to love demanding and self-centered people. However, we don’t have to take their problems upon ourselves, nor do we have to take abuse from them. “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. (Romans 12:14, NIV) We also don’t want to become like them. In other words, we have to be careful in being around them that we don’t take on some of their ungodly characteristics. “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” (I Corinthians 15:33, NIV) In addition, God’s Word also says: “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.” (Matthew 7:6, NLT) We know Jesus encountered difficult people and situations (think of the Pharisees), and He knew we would, too. I think that at some point, after perhaps many incidents of being bombarded with emotional darts, God will guide us to shake the dust from our feet and move on. When Jesus was instructing His disciples about going out and preaching the gospel, this is what He told them: 10“Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. 11And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them.” (Mark 6:10-11, NIV) In the late 1950s, James Vicary of New Jersey, brought the notion to everyone’s minds that theaters were splicing scenes of food into movies to suggest hunger and thirst on unsuspecting movie watchers. He claimed that these subliminal messages spoke to people’s subconscious and boosted the sales at the concession stands. Even though this was proved to be an urban legend, Mr. Vicary planted the thought into Americans’ minds that they could easily be manipulated into doing things they wouldn’t do otherwise. Manipulation is a favorite tool of the enemy. So, where does our part come in? How do we protect ourselves from being manipulated and from being in relationships that involve difficult people? Obviously, we cannot avoid all contact with these type of people. However, as much as we can, we need to guard ourselves from being in situations that may cause us to be exposed to the wrong kind of influences. For example, if you are looking for a godly husband, do you cruise the bars every night hoping to meet Mr. Right? The enemy can very quickly sneak in with the temptation, “Don’t you want a little of this? Don’t you desire that? A little won’t hurt.” But, if you give into these seemingly harmless enticements, the enemy now has a foothold in your life; you have opened the door to him. And yes, it often does lead to bigger and more dangerous sins and mindsets. That’s how, I believe, people end up turning away from the Lord. “Thus says the Lord God, ‘It will come about on that day, that thoughts will come into your mind and you will devise an evil plan.’” (Ezekiel 38:10, NAS) The Lord wants us to fill our thoughts with the things of God and walk away from evil influences. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8, NAS) Like Jesus, we are to protect our minds so we don’t fall into the enemy’s trap. “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on you.” (Isaiah 26:3, NLT) Guard your heart, my friend. Be a light where you can be. However, when you sense that there’s someone you’re trying to minister to who is becoming manipulating and wanting only what he/she wants for selfish gain, take the advice of God’s Word to shake the dust off your feet and move on before you are dragged into whatever it is you were never meant to be dragged into. Remember how easily you can be devoured by traps the enemy sets before you. The key is to know the truth of what God is saying to you by staying in His Word and praying continually. Stay close to Him and you won’t be deceived by the lies of the enemy. Watch what you read, what you see on television, and who your closest friends are. Be careful to not allow the enemy to slowly draw you to a road you never intended traveling down, toward temptations and destruction. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10, NAS) Don’t be one of his victims by giving into what the world says is pleasing. Jesus offers something much better. Rejoicing in the Truth, Iris Prayer of Salvation: Have you given thought to where you will be after you have finished your work and your time here on earth? You can receive Jesus into your heart to be the Lord and Savior of your life. If you want assurance of eternity in heaven, pray this prayer: “God in heaven, I confess to You that I am a sinner and have need for You in my life. I want to spend eternity with You. I feel misunderstood sometimes, Lord; show me Your grace and your mercy. Lord, forgive me for my unbelief and help me to desire to serve You. I bow my heart before You. If I would die tomorrow, I want the peace of knowing where I will be after life on this earth. I receive You into my heart right now. I believe I’m saved, and that I have been forgiven for all my sins and all the mistakes I’ve made on this journey. Give me the strength to face the challenges I have ahead of me in this life, Lord. I trust You; my life is in Your hands! In Jesus’ name, amen!” B Blessings, Tammy and Iris If you prayed this prayer of salvation and would like encouragement, you can contact this ministry. More importantly, we would also like to encourage you to seek a BIBLE-BELIEVING AND BIBLE-TEACHING CHURCH in your area. Being fed the Word of God on a regular basis and being in fellowship with other believers is vital to living a victorious Christian life. Go out today, and expect God to show you great and mighty things on your journey. Ministry Update ? The second Joni and Friends New England family retreat of the summer was held August 16th through the 20th at the Barbara Harris Center in Greenfield, New Hampshire. This retreat was geared toward families, adults, and children affected by disability. It was a great success and such a blessing to those who attended. Although I was not able to be there to host the Talent Night because of health reasons, I heard the week went very well and lives were changed and encouraged by all the fun classes and exciting testimonies of God’s goodness. Extraordinary talents, once again, were showcased at the Talent Night, and everyone benefited from the program. The retreat, overall, centered around the challenges and frustrations faced by these precious people each day. If this is something you want to consider for next year, either as a participant or a short-term missionary you can contact Linda Smith at: 617-723-1750 or P.O. Box 961103, Boston, MA, 02196. You can also e-mail her at: LSmith@joniandfriends.org. These beneficial retreats are held all over the country. For information on retreats near you, go to www.joniandfriends.org. ? My individual outreach is such a blessing in so many ways. God continues to use me daily to talk and pray with individuals. Life is so challenging these days. What a privilege it is to lead them to call on the name of Jesus and find victory in every situation they face. It is such an awesome experience to uplift and encourage precious people in their walk with the Lord, whether their concerns are physical, emotional, or spiritual. ? This quarterly newsletter continues to inspire and encourage our readers with a word from God and testimonies from individuals. The number of visitors to our web site (www.ihsteps.com) is growing. My husband, Cy, does a great job making the site an outreach of encouragement to all who go to it. The current newsletter and an archive of past newsletters are available. There is a prayer page, facilitated by Patricia Lockwood of Florida, which provides an opportunity for intercessors to pray for others or for individuals to post their requests. Each of our writers has a blog page, and there is a picture page and a fictional story page. My testimony, “A Glimpse of Heaven,” and a daily devotional to inspire your walk with the Lord are also on there. I feel so blessed that God has chosen me for such an awesome task. We appreciate your prayers for provision for the newsletter and for all the people involved in making it happen. Also, please pray for additional volunteers for the hands-on needs of this ministry. ? Check out our newest contributor, Diane K. Chamberlain of Washington, whose blog page on the IHS web site is called “West Coast Wisdom.” Her testimony is on there, as wells as, discussion about the two books she has authored. Her newest one, The Rainbow in the Storm: Finding Hope Where There Isn’t Any takes the reader on a journey of hope through some of the most painful moments in Diane’s life. Her other book is titled You are not Alone in a Lonely World. More information can be found on Diane’s web site: www.diane-chamberlain.com. Additional Ministry Information Please note that the scriptures used in this newsletter are taken from different versions of the Bible: NAS stands for New American Standard, NIV for New International Version, NLT for New Living Translation, and MSG for The Message. If you have need for prayer, you can go to our online prayer room and post a request. All requests will be kept in prayer for one month. You can also choose to pray for others’ needs that have been posted. If you would like to receive the newsletter via e-mail, you can let us know by sending an e mail to Tammy or Iris. Iris: iris@ihsteps.com. Tammy: tammy@ihsteps.com May the Lord bless you abundantly in your walk with Him according to His purposes for you. Iris Fisher-Smith, In His Steps Ministries P.O. Box 358 Enfield, NH 03748 “Faith Stretching” by Tammy Maseberg Life can be very challenging to say the least. So, how do we deal with people we come into contact with who seem bent on making life even harder? I believe God can use these situations to stretch us in our faith and cause us to seek to be more like Him. God wants us to view others as He does—with love and grace—and to pray for them. “But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34a, NAS) But, the challenging question is this: do we continue in a relationship with them? There is not always a clear answer; circumstances can be complicated and confusing. The Lord wants us to speak the truth in love. “but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15, NAS) And, when telling that the truth, we are to do it gently. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1, NAS) Does God ever release us out of a relationship? I think He does sometimes. This has to be a matter of intense, sometimes prolonged, prayer. He will give us the wisdom needed to make that decision. We can, and should, still pray for that person(s) and love them as Christ first loved us, even if that means only from a distance. It’s important that we do not put ourselves in a repeat situation that we know is harmful. He gave us that organ of gray matter between our ears, and He expects us to use it! Let’s say you are walking past a yard with a dog in it, and you reach out to pet him. If the dog bites your hand, you will probably not try to touch him the next time you walk by. You may even walk down the other side of the street. “. . . therefore be shrewd as serpents, and innocent as doves. (Matt. 10:16b, NAS) God is clear about wanting us to put Him first in our lives. “You shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3, NAS) Sometimes dealing with difficult people can cause us to put pleasing them above obeying our Heavenly Father. If you think about it, this is a form of idol worship. This doesn’t do us or the other person any good. When someone else besides God becomes our main focus and God takes a back seat, it then becomes our responsibility to re-focus on the Lord. If we seek to obey Him, then everything else will fall into place. We can do nothing better than to live how He wants us to. “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” (Matthew 6:33, NLT) Be encouraged if you are dealing with a troublesome relationship. Pray that God will help you to not become a difficult person to others. Keep your eyes on the Lord, and He will give you the peace and direction that you need. “His Will is the Right Road for You” by Cathy Hicks Galatians 5 in The Word of God tells us, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;”(22-23a, NAS). If we are followers of Christ, we should bear good fruit continually. Verse 25 says, “If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” To live by the Spirit puts me on the receiving end. I am spiritually alive—not because I follow a set of rules but because I am made alive by faith in the death and resurrection of my Savior. His Spirit lives in me and empowers me to obey Him. I am taught, comforted, strengthened, given guidance and wisdom, and even made aware of hidden sins, all through the Holy Spirit. Walking by the Spirit involves reflecting the character of Christ toward everyone I come in contact with. It isn’t about me. As Christians we should, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love: give preference to one another in honor.” (Romans 12:10, NAS) There is no room for boastfulness, challenging one another, or envying each other in the body of Christ. (See Galatians 5:26) But, what about our dealings with those outside the body of Christ? I must respond to the world the way Jesus responded to me before I knew Him, reflecting His grace and showing mercy and hoping that others will be saved. Not everyone will appreciate it, though. Some reacted to Christ in hatred and rejection, and people will often respond to me in the same way because I serve the same God Christ served. I will not always be liked or treated fairly, and I may even be persecuted at times. But just as Jesus drew His strength from His Heavenly Father, He also gives me the power to love as He loved. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16, NIV) I must remember that His grace saved me when I was an offense to Him. “8For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9, NAS) While I was separated from God and without hope, He pointed me to the cross, and I responded. I am not able to do enough good works to impress God so that He would be obligated to redeem me. He sought me and offered me a way back into His fold because, “God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NAS) Knowing that, how could I justify any other behavior? Is there ever a time when godly wisdom means to walk away from a situation? Absolutely. “And they took offense at Him (Jesus). But Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in his home town, and in his own household.’ And He did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief.” (Matthew 13:57, NAS) Jesus left knowing He could have done so much more for them. He was not writing them off because of their unbelief. Rather, He was speaking the truth in love, as we are to do. “but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15, NAS) I picture my Savior’s grieved face. Many probably took great offense when Jesus spoke to them about the condition of their hearts. I can only hope that some did see the love that motivated Him. God is in the business of saving the lost—it is His passion. Throughout the Bible He tells us to love our enemies. (see Romans 12:20) Why? So that they may see God’s love through us and come to repentance and be saved. So pray and spend time with the Savior, seeking direction through His Word in each situation. Counsel with a godly friend, pastor, or family member (be careful to not gossip and to insist on confidentiality). You may have to walk away physically from a situation, but you can still pray knowing God hears. Asking God to let me see a person through His eyes has straightened out more than a few crooked relationships which I thought were doomed to crash and burn. Sometimes, my heart needs to change, even if the other person or the situation remains the same. “Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:5, NAS) Then, I experience the “peace that passes all understanding” that God promises later in verse 7. When God turns things around, even if it is only in my attitude, it will positively affect those around me. In the end, God’s glory is all that matters. “Trying to Connect” by Beverlee Buller Keck Dear Friends, “None of us manage life that well (Dr. Ronald Carlson, Clinical Psychologist).” Now you might react a tad to this statement, but it’s the trying that makes the difference. If none of us manage life that well then it can be said that none of us manage relationships that well. Again, it’s learning life skills and putting effort into it which makes all the difference. We are all imperfect since the Fall in the Garden of Eden. The first relational break-down came with us humans in relationship to God. So what can be said about how we can deal with the “hard to please?” I’ve thought of 4 primary points that might help us toward more effectual relationships. 1. Triangulation. Triangulation is when there is not direct communication between two persons or between those to whom the communication belongs. Others become the carrier pigeons of the message meant for another. This is much like the old game of telephone where one person starts a message and by the time the last interpretation is made it has changed entirely. Instead of this indirect communication, the brave choice and one that fosters no gossip, is the choice of the person with the offense or confusion to go to the person directly to resolve a misunderstanding. There is no need for sharing the offense with a third party. This kind of direct communication will minimize many a misunderstanding. 2. “I didn’t cause it – I can’t fix it.” Co-dependent No More by Melodie Beattie. In the back of my book Just One More Day-Meditations for Those Who Struggle with Anxiety and Depression, I provide a chart in the appendix regarding, “What’s in my control and what is not.” It’s amazing how much time we spend trying to fix that which is out of our control. It’s so seductive that it keeps us from tending our own weeds in our own yard. Also see entry 23: “My Yard, Your Yard.” “Remember, you are only responsible for ‘your yard;’ i.e., your choices, your own beliefs, your own perceptions, and your own feelings. As you interact with your loved ones, remember that they, too, have been given their own yards to cultivate and manage (Dawn Angelich, LMFT).” The point being, stop fixing what you did not break (relationally), and instead, focus on fixing what you did break. 3. Enmeshment. “Enmeshed families have to work very hard to help each individual family member distinguish him or herself from the others, each having his or her own wants, needs, and desires. ‘Homogenized,’ which means ‘all the same,’ is a good description of enmeshment (Just One More Day – Entry 14: Enmeshment).” This brings to mind the image of the so called happiest place on earth, Disneyland. Have you noticed people in packs, barely air to breath among them walking about? This calls for healthy detachment – like, “Let’s go our separate ways and meet back for dinner.” This is simply asking for relational oxygen. No one can be so close for so long without losing the ability to breathe. Spread your needs among three or four individuals. 4. Lastly, Attachment. Much of mind and soul healing has to do with restoring broken attachment or no attachment at all (for parents with their children). There are specialists and those who have written textbooks on this subject. My dear friend was telling me that her veterinarian had a cat who simply hung around her neck all day as she practiced. My friend said to me, “Beverlee, would it not have been nice if I had a Mom that would have allowed me this kind of bonding?” There are those of us who have “holes in our souls,” that we are unconsciously trying to fill through relationship. We may create expectations that no one can meet, thus sabotaging a potentially fulfilling relationship. People can give only what they can and some do not give what they have. These are the relationships fraught with frustration. Expectations wrongly placed can leave one empty handed. Remember to expect realistically, and to happily receive what others give by way of love and support. Blessings, Beverlee, Ministry Associate for Joni and Friends Certified Life Strategies Coach (CEG) ? bev@thecovereddish.com ? You can order Beverlee’s book (pictured at left) at 1-800-545-7322 or www.kindredproductions.com or at www.Amazon.com Scriptures of Blessing “For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12, NAS) Here are some scriptures to encourage your heart. Included are all the Scriptures mentioned throughout this letter. Our hope is that you would have a chance to utilize this listing as a daily Bible reading/devotional. We encourage you to read these in context. For example: for scripture #11 (Isaiah 26:3) try reading all of chapter 26 to get a more complete understanding of the scripture. You may also want to try reading the scriptures in different versions of the Bible. 1. Psalm 114:4 2. Luke 6:27-28 3. Romans 12:14 4. Matthew 7:6 5. Proverbs 23:12 6. I Corinthians 15:33 7. Mark 6:10-11 8. Ezekiel 38:10 9. Psalm 119:105 10. Philippians 4:8 11. Isaiah 26:3 12. John 10:10 13. Isaiah 30:21 14. Luke 23:34 15. Ephesians 4:15 16. Proverbs 15:1 17. John 12:42-43 18. Matthew 10:16 19. Exodus 20:3 20. Matthew 6:33 21. Romans 12:10 22. Proverbs 25:22 23. John 3:16 24. Galatians 5:26 25. Ephesians 2:8-9 26. Romans 5:8 27. Matthew 13:57 28. Proverbs 4:26 29. Romans 12:20 30. Philippians 4:5
