“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”~~Isaiah 43:2, NLT
January 11th is this Friday—a day eight years ago that my friend, Eleni, had her life changed forever. In an instant her husband and her son were killed by a drunk driver. Larry was 44 and Jeremy was 20. They were on their way home from Walmart, where Larry had just picked Jeremy up from work.
My dear friend and her 18-year-old daughter, Larissa, suddenly found themselves encased in grief—a situation that neither ever imagined being in. The news was devastating for everyone who knew them. Why would God take two people who had touched so many lives and who were, by all opinions, going to continue sharing their faith to draw people to the saving grace of the Lord? And, why would the God of love allow Eleni to now be without a husband and son and Larissa to be without a father and brother?
I can tell you that those questions still remain today. Answers have not suddenly surfaced with the passage of time. Are we wondering where Larry and Jeremy are? No. We are confident that they are with their Lord. They were both sold out for God and had been serving Him for a long time—Jeremy, his whole life. But, what remains is the void they left behind. Eleni just shared with me recently that she misses them more today than she did eight years ago.
I have observed this process of grief—from afar mostly but up close some, too. And, I can tell you that through all the questioning and extreme pain, I have not seen Eleni’s faith in God diminish. She never turned away from the Lord. Instead, she bared her heart as she prayed and cried out to Him. One of the first things she said to me when we went to the funeral was, “I know I should hate the man who hit them, but I don’t.” And, she still feels that way today. Wow. That kind of grace can only come from God. Not hating that person has kept her from becoming bitter and has allowed her to move on in her life, even though it hasn’t been easy.
Eleni and I have talked about what happened many times, and it seems like we always came back to these conclusions:
- We have to understand (and accept) that we are never going to understand the why.
- God has and will bring good out of it—somehow, although we many never see it this side of heaven.
- The man who hit them needs prayer that he will come to the Lord through this tragedy.
- God has never left Eleni. Without Him in her life, she surely would not have survived this.
- God is still on His throne. He is faithful and is still in control.
- He has protected Eleni in amazing ways during the years since the accident.
- Larry and Jeremy will always be missed, especially by Eleni and Larissa. Part of the grief is that the rest of us are left behind.
Truly, the deep waters of grief have not overflowed Eleni, even though there were times when I know she thought she would surely drown. It has not been easy. But, through it all, she is still standing and continuing to trust in God and that she will see her two loved ones again someday. That is the hope we have in Christ. Watching my dear friend trust her Lord while going through such a deep valley has helped me to grow in my faith.
So, be encouraged if any of you out there are grieving and missing a loved one right now. God loves you so much and is ready to help you through the pain and loneliness. Tell Him what you are feeling and that you need Him to hold you close to His heart.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4, NAS)
I love the way The Message puts that verse:
“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.”
Thank You, God, for always being with us—through even the most intense pain and suffering. We know that you will never leave our side.
