My mother-in-law, Adele, whom I also call “Mom” uses the phrase, “sweet
sorrow,” to describe the unexplainable peace a follower of Christ has in the midst
of tumultuous times. Mom has lived through many hardships. She was married at
- By 24, she had six children, including one who died shortly after birth. She
endured spousal abuse, financial difficulties, and then divorce. Mom became a
Christian and then remarried. Less than ten years later, her husband died of
cancer. I witnessed her clinging to her Savior even while filled with grief. She
had peace knowing the Lord would take care of her and that her husband was with Jesus. Then, Mom
was blessed to marry Tom, another wonderful man of God. Their love for the Lord and each other didn’t
waver, even when he was diagnosed with cancer. It was hard to watch the struggle but so amazing to see
them trust the Lord every step of the way. Tom spoke at churches of God’s faithfulness during the ordeal.
After 16 years together, he went home to be with the Lord. “…we are afflicted in every way, but not
crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2
6
Corinthians 4:8-9, NAS). Again, I watched Mom grieve as she moved through the process of letting go.
The peace that Jesus promises was there, alongside the pain and sadness. “Peace I leave with you; My
peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your
heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” (John 14:27, NAS) So, when my
mother-in-law speaks about sweet sorrow, she speaks from experience. It’s not
just a “fluffing up” in a difficult situation.
Little did I know that my husband and I would later have our own gutwrenching grief to endure. Our precious son, Jesse, died in 1992 at age 11. My
mother-in-law was beside us, demonstrating how to trust and obey God through
circumstances we could not humanly understand or bear alone. This
circumstance did not “feel” like the love of God. But, there it was—we could
not deny its existence. We all moved forward together. My mother-in-law was, once again, experiencing
a loss—this time the loss of a grandson. The peace and love of God and His sweet presence was there
with the pain, questions, and confusion. Gradually, I decided to entrust my circumstances to God, and I
began to experience the peace that the Apostle Paul wrote about: “Be anxious for nothing, but in
everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And
the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, NAS).
The events of our lives do not determine the final outcome. God does. He sees far beyond the
situation, right into the eternal. He has a plan for each of us. We have to choose to trust Him with the
here-and-now that doesn’t always make sense. There is a much bigger picture that we cannot see. When
you know “who” holds the future, figuring out the “why” doesn’t seem so important.
“You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him
now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.” (1 Peter
1:8, NLT).
As a child, I trusted my daddy to protect me. That trust came easy
when I was frightened during the night and he comforted me. However, I
wasn’t so eager to trust him when I couldn’t see his reasoning when he denied a
request. As an adult, I realized that it’s difficult to explain to a child why she
shouldn’t have something or that there is danger involved. As a child, I couldn’t
comprehend adult decisions or reasoning, but a child can trust. I knew I had my
daddy’s love. All those times when he came running to me because of those “bumps in the night” proved
that love and that he was always there for me. Still, I argued and cried when he stood his ground in
telling me “no” to something. In later years, I thanked my dad for the wisdom he had. Now that I am a
parent, I understand how hard it is to see your child cry when you have to take something away—when
you can’t explain your reasons because their young minds won’t understand.
That must be how it is with our Heavenly Father, only He never makes a mistake in judgment. He
proved His love for me when He sent His Son to die on the cross for my sins. Jesus loves me so much
that He paid the price for my offenses! He comes to me when I cry out for help, just like my daddy came
in the middle of the night to comfort and take my fear away with his strong presence. I go back to the
cross when I don’t understand, and there I see the love of God for me. The circumstance I’m in may not
change, but my perspective does, because: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever!”
(Hebrews 13:8, NAS).
In Christ, Cathy